- Person 1: Things will be okay. I know it feels like your heart is being torn out right now but I promise things will get better. If she is going to treat you like this, she doesn't fucking deserve you.
- Person 2: Yeah, but I want her to. I want her to be strong enough to fight for this because it's a bullshit reason to throw us away.
- Person 1: I agree. I agree completely.
- Person 2: But I know that she won't. I know she doesn't see us as something she wants. And I don't understand that! I would pull away and she would pull me closer, but now she's ready to push me far away?!
I always thought that I would be the first to run from a relationship. I never fully believed that I was capable of being in one until last Wednesday. I told myself, “I’ll send this message that asks if —————— wants to go out with me, and if —————— says, ‘Yes,’ I’ll give it a shot!”
Things seemed marvelous! Late night conversations brought more happiness and joy than I had felt in a really long time. Everything just seemed right.
Fast-forwarding a week—it’s not the same. We lost it but, then again, I have to ask myself if we ever really had it to begin with. I want to make this work! I don’t believe in just dropping things and saying, “Oh, what’s done is done, and this is over.”
Once again I’m putting someone’s happiness before my own. Once again I am willing to take the blame. I care that bloody much! It annoys me!!
Everyone becomes fearful of being in a relationship. Everyone begins to think, “Oh crap! I’m falling too far too quickly! I don’t want to be trapped!” Most people try to work through that, though. They may think that it means their heart wants something different for them, but that’s a load of bosh. Your heart wants what you tell it to. If you want to work at something, your heart will realize that and change.
I now have to program my heart to not feel for you. I now have to program my brain to forget those memories of us. Those memories of you.
The sound. The smell. The taste. The sight. The touch.
I mustn’t be reminded of those things.
How do you do it, ——————? How do you so easily say, “It’s not what I want,” and forget everything? Did you forget? Does it haunt your dreams to a certain extent? Before you sleep at night, do you think of that one night we shared?
Your face is imprinted on my eyelids, hence the reason I am not sleeping tonight.
I can’t help but feel betrayed. I can’t help but feel used. ——————, was that all that I was good for? One date? One night? One morning?
G-d, I hope not. I hope that you sincerely felt something at some point. Seriously.
i don’t want your marks to fade…
it’s that time of the year. spring semester is coming to an end. everyone is frantically studying for the finals they have this week. people are packing the belongings that fill their dorms and campus apartments.
and what am i doing?
other than working at wal-mart, i spend my days playing video games or watching dvds. i rarely write anymore; i’m saddened by this.
i wish that i lived the life of a student. i miss my dorm room. i miss classes. i miss walking across campus every day. having a meal plan is far better than having to find some way to pay for food or other expenses.
it’s far better than being thrown head-first into the working world.
i understand this now.